Komodo Dragons Escape
Three Komodo dragons escaped from an Indonesian zoo. The Indonesian city of Surabaya issued a terse warning about the deadly nature of the lizards, saying, "They vamoosed, they're on the lam, they have ixnayed." Bali has been placed on the alert to prevent any casting calls from being held during the crisis, because, although Bali is some distance from Surabaya, Komodo dragons have been known to attack extremely talented and respected actors and actresses.