- Laughtermath (clean)

Depending on one's environment and state of mind the clean version can either be highly entertaining and enjoyable or discordant and headache producing. If I were to die today, then I'd want it to be known that I feel the beat transition into 120+BPM at 2:20 feels somewhat rushed. It's still fun though, and the version with effects fun enough to be bad ass. The conclusion of the album will be a version of this song with production discussion and talk about the ideas and intentions of Gadget Duress, especially Sexy Bamanation.

[I'm never going to be happy with this. I spent too much time making it a glitch track for it to be normal, but I just had to try to make it normal anyway. Fail. I'll probably scrap it and start fresh later. It's not bad (besides being the most horrible, cacophonous, pathetic excuse for music of all time), it's just not what I wanted.] Forced Inspiration Jam -- Forced Inspiration

we're the workers and freaks the rich want to forget
smothered by hard times and they don't give a shit

the days and weeks and years keep on slipping by without us
left behind with nothing to show for all our work but your outrage
I don't know why the world is so full of greed and cruelty,
Or how old I'll be if I live through this troubled age.

Strain and toil and sweat, we know all about it,
Striving to change the world and change our lives,
Can we ever get ahead? It's easy to doubt it,
And the privileged are amused by the strife.

Our whole country is full of people who are just like this
They work so hard but can't make enough to buy the dream.
Only want what is right, want some of the chances that we missed,
But sometimes the hardship just makes someone want to scream.

Is this some kind of joke? Is the lower class getting punished?
A brand new thing, economic castigation...
How many hopes dead, how many plans unfinished,
dashed by millionaires financial masturbation?

Our leaders lie and smile and sell us out
The media's run by thieves and fucking clowns
They all deserve the punch lines they ditch out
While the middle class and poor all go down.

Life is suffering and the world is never fair
But we can change a lot of things if we dare.


1. Streamed - fixed the rough beginning; also, expect a couple more versions
2. Sweat and Castigation [Composed and recorded lyrics, music on hold, Saturday, May 26; May 31: (redone with better equipment)]
3. Forced Inspiration
4. Sexy and
5. Opined (originally there was no plan for words) and Instrumental (tweaked for the words)... also...Opined Dos (remastered to bolster sync and highlight vocals)
and -- Instrumental (third version)
  • wut wut
Lyrics to Opined Domination

You are so dominated
Slave is your only name
Regardless of opinion
Your life is not a game

you want to do it all now
but you can't do anything
can't even walk or talk now
you are just a plaything

every day you're put through paces
bottomed out in every way
held tight by bonds and corset laces
waiting is the price you pay

a matter of opinion:
are you free or a slave
in this sexual dominion?
do you want to be saved?

the front door's open wide
you can leave any time
but you say you won't go
you say you love your life
locked up, luscious, in your prime,

You are so dominated
Slave is your only name
Regardless of opinion
Your life is not a game

Glossy Degradation

your life is, you life is easier this way
everything you have to do is spelled out just for you
serve the master, do it well, kneel and smile and say
the words that make you crimson red, as if nobody knew
"I'm property, property, forever, every day,
A pet, a toy, sometimes a doll, a true slave through and through."
Put a smile on your face and clap your hands, you've only said what is true.

All wrapped up in leather and locks,
Harnessed, even fingers and toes,
Collared and leashed as the clock tic tocks
in heat with desire, aglow,
On the cusp of your big night, a special grand show,
The event: your public debut
The shame, the passion of few.

The party thrives as the guests arrive,
You greet them at the door
on hands and knees, derriere in the air, breathless from what's in store,
the air pure electric, the atmosphere alive,
lips trembling you want, want to to your wanton core,
And tonight you'll receive
Like you can't believe
Waves of lust crashing on your shore.

Led from the foyer
Crawling for the voyeurs
Commanded to lick boots
as the audience hoots,
then it's on, into the salon
where everybody looks on
while a stranger strokes your mons
moans spew and spawn
flashbulbs grace your face
your corset's lace
your outlines and luscious curves
a portrait of what you deserve
submission and tingling nerves
the game begins,
you slowly spin
every part of you displayed
then at last, it comes, dismay,
when you're told the words to say
To a stranger you've never seen
"I belong to you, I'm yours tonight, in every single way,
A pet, a toy, a living doll, a slave to you my queen."
To be so good only to be given away
To grovel like a worm
Humility paints bright red the flesh
And lashes make you squirm
The lesson was now to be learned,
Though not the one for which you burned.

lyrics for some songs on Sexy determined to be naughty

May 13
Sexy Bamanation - somebody said it should all be slow; nope, atypical is the key word
[putting finishing touches on lyrics, pero mañana- can't get the whole thing right without more work; the instrumental is up]
your memories are pure heat, your thoughts are dust
wagging your tail and fawning, done in perfect trust
all of these moments flowing into this one
all of our faces glowing in the midnight sun
sweet entertainment rising to your matters core
you don't remember boredom or the clothes you wore
all that silk, fur coats and black gloves, all the crushed velour
now there's just your innocence lost, on a whirlwind tour
get tight, baby, you can do it, it's a dirty pure
the love, the cream, the feeling, the dream, the sickness and the cure
pulled together, wound up, turned out, worked and satisfied
can't wring out this fantasy life, it just never dries
come together, open eyes wide, it never felt so good
you get what you deserve and then some, always knew you would
words can't touch the sea of closeness, pleasures coalesce
bringing joy and deep skin comfort
the feeling is the best
y mas

Sunday, May 5, making Soundfonts
Names of Soundfonts shortened; Kext1, Kext2, Kext3
Now working on Kext4.

Art on the way,

fixed and changed
new vocal edit: melodic like The Swans ;) [note: just listened to latest version and discovered it still needs a correction, but I can't fix it until this evening]

Created new Soundfont: Strikext1
employed during making of new E.P.
4. Robotic Vocallette -- new vocal edit: melodic like The Swans ;)
. . . . Lyrics:
Don't you have something to tell me?
Don't you have something to say?
Your life is good for nothing
You're gonna have to pay
The price for your lying
The cost of your stealing
Everything open!!
Everything open!!
There is no other way!
Burned up from the inside out
Slashed and torn
Burned up from the outside in
Derision and scorn
Life should not be about this!
All of these flames!
Heady twisted narco games!
Something should change!
Every single thing should!
Something's gotta change!
Something's gotta change!
Something has to:
All this shit must change!
Don't want to be
Another fucking robot
Motherfucker Change!

out of sync for a few seconds toward the end

Note: Shortly after uploading "Summer..." I noticed a sequencer track out of sync. It's only out of sync by a hundredth of a second or so, but that problem destroys the "cause and effect feel" in the percussion. Archive's editor for the song is not available yet, so I can't fix it right now. Using multiple sequencers is an arduous affair, and it didn't work out well this time. It wouldn't have made it to Archive like that if I hadn't been out wining and dining with friends earlier in the evening [translation: Intoxicated while mixing]; it simply went unnoticed. Will be fixed soon.

I think I may have missed an opportunity with the Co-Meet Diversion vocals. I thought the song was shorter, so I made them short. It keeps going on forever apparently. I could just as easily have made two or three more long verses. The vocals were recorded in one take, btw, but noise and a hesitation was clipped out, and that's noticeable.

A note on William X. The recordings he made were altered in no way, as per direct instructions. There was a great quantity of very good material that will not be made available because the zero alteration policy makes it unusable (there needed to be at least some edits). A shame.

April 4: cleaning up
Barefoot on the Burning Street Concludes Eventually
Making a video for Beating River Road Down (':, whatever) and possibly more
Vocals for multiple songs on the album are to be expected; versions with lyrics are here:

18. Co-Meet Diversion Vocal Mix

More from Barefoot on the Burning Street. I think I'mma do just one or two more songs and then start a new album.
2. Per Spire Winch Ascent [Caution: Contains explicit Japanese]
3. Perspire, Fissure Descent (correct title; the archive title is a mistake)
4. Beatin': Lakeshore Drive - a technical mix
5. Beatin': River Road Down - a much longer percussion jam
Cover Art:
Additional tracks of the single will follow. The first track was meant to have vocals. Those haven't been recorded yet. Comite refers to a river in Louisiana; phonetics, tick-tock. Harumph, the breaths/moans are from a cartoon, so... harumph. Note on the art - stickers taken from buildings and signs in the LSU area last year; also, the vamp chick is from a Vampire the Masquerade book. Note on Beatin' - not a chill song... will wake babies, torture hangover victims.

New Material Soon

*From The New Album Barefoot on the Burning Street*

Current Track List:
1. Dizzier than the Disease

With regard to the previous post, I just got hold of the Higio Ochoa PasteBin link. This letter makes me feel better. I never participate in any attacks. I just listen while people type.

v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v& v&

Beatin': Lakeshore Drive - due for at least one remix. It'll be here. I think I'll cut out any part of it that doesn't straight jam and lengthen the parts that do. It almost jams the way I want it to, and will with only a minimal amount of touching up. Right now it's technically eloquent, but not the beater I was trying to make.

About Beatin': It sounds like crap on my computer speakers. It sounded pretty good on the headphones when I created it. Maybe it has something to do with the speakers. Five dollars just doesn't get you what it used to.

Second song temporarily removed. Will be remixed and reupped with a different title (entitled hastily trying to finish before the day ended)

about the photo: Some residents of my hometown express their hatred of certain political beliefs through ad hominem attacks and violence. The political commentary here has been heavily edited. Over 1000 entries have been removed altogether, but my memories remain. Death threats and threats of violence directed against me in person, over politics, will hopefully forever be a thing of the past. Just to be on the safe side I prefer to keep my face covered here.

I need to be in a special frame of mind to put my voice on a recording.

Nope. Goin' back to the city, gonna get me some love, put my fingers in some gloves, stroke the keys, spread my brand of free, give winks that cause weak knees, enough to wet the lips of the kitties. I don't have to chase the pussies, they all just come to me. So, uh, not Friday morning.

ETA on Muzik: Friday morning? Friday morning. It's so much easier to produce with minimal amounts of narcotics, but no, somebody went all drug free (again) this year. Hours from now is the answer. [[[nope- holding off until after I get home]]]


D3 Going Open Beta: Fake News

The press release was fake. Ars has an article that sets it for May 15. Derp (does not begin to describe how bad this stupid burns). Also, I liked the fake news version better. What I read at Ars doesn't sound nearly as good.

The fake:
Jay Wilson, Blizzard's game director for Diablo 3, announced yesterday that Beta was about to be opened to the public, out of the invite only system that has been in use. That announcement came along with a change in the official release date to November 5, 2012. Having waited so long for this, if Blizzard feels the need to put a few more months into development then it can only be for the best. It's been a long road from the early days, marked by faint hope and scarce rumors that the game would be developed at all, to the current vision of a masterpiece looming on the horizon to be released this very year.

Also in the past 24 hours, Beta testers gained access to previously unavailable terrain, The Fields of Misery, through what has been hypothesized was a server glitch. Someone captured the experience in a 24 minute video. Holy Mother of God things are looking good.

PVP will begin on the 1st day of gaming instead of being held back a few months as Blizzard originally planned. PK'ers will rejoice at that bit of news. One has to feel sorry for the noobs who have yet to experience the full brunt of massive lulz. Presumably hardcore still exists (I wasn't invited to Beta test, so I don't know). Real tears will be shed when those kids get their prized characters offed by sadistic professionals.

If only there were some way I could start playing and just play a little bit. Maybe I could just play for a few hours and then stop altogether. Everybody will be doing it, and it'll be fun. It's not like I'll lose six months to a year of my life or anything. [D3 Denial]

Original Track 3 scrapped. Original album title discarded. Original art chunked.

Decision reached: As soon as the LP is complete I'm just going to make an entirely new post with all the same material in it (lol). The only reason is so that it will go out in email and syndication. If you're reading this you already have 60% of the album in front of you. I may cut a couple of songs and add others though. "Caught by Circles" is sooo musical...

Production note: Must work faster. Need to have made 500 tracks by end of year. <-- I wrote that this morning. Now I'm off work and so exhausted I can't keep my eyes open. Curses! This pathetic human body can't keep up with my creative drive!

Old Art:

If I had just spent a little more time on track 2 it could have been spectacular, but I got tired and rushed it after 16 hours in production. I love it and fucking hate it. I have no idea what other people will think. Single still incomplete; expect multiple tracks to be added. Next time I'll sleep before uploading one I spent so many hours on.

I would really like to distribute my SoundFonts, but none of the SF2 sites currently allow user uploads and I don't have FTP access. That's a damn shame. My samples in SF2 have topped a thousand, including hundreds of short loops, all of it Sound Forge quality. Some of you creative musical geniuses out there could kick up a cloud of dust with the work I've already done, and I still have samples waiting to fill another 43 fonts. The source samples are percussion, atmosphere, futuristic and organic: None of it is instruments, as is so common. If anyone wants to host it, then contact me (I hate to risk the accusations using TPB may invite). It's all Royalty Free Creative Commons Commercial.

"Pound Instrumental" Credits:

Non-original Instruments:
Bennet Ng
Alesis DM-5 Industrial Set - Dave Smith
7mb's vinyl drums v1 - Thomas Hammer
Xiaosu Du
Gabriel Molina Althouse
Ali Mustafa
Alejandro Melendez
Nasca Octavian Paul

Voices (from the TV):
Danny John-Jules
Soraki Hideaki
Alexander Skarsgard
Mitsutaka Tachikawa
Anna Paquin

Recording in Progress

Friday 3-9: 10 Hours until vocals recording! Made 3 new SoundFonts last night. That's nothing but work; nothing but recording fun this weekend. TGIF!


I have decided not to link to tracks until the single is completely finished. One bass riff on the Pound instrumental sounds totally out of place without accompanying words, and it's driving me bonkers I can't fix it until Friday.

Wednesday 3-7 - Totally Expected: I had what I thought was catastrophic system failure this morning, which seems to happen every time I produce music. It wasn't. I fixed it, but I lost a day of production. There really may be nothing new until Friday.

Releasing this incomplete is not strictly a matter of impatience. Too many times something has happened during audio production and music has been lost. The name of the album is "Campfire Stolen Words, Starlight Stolen Thoughts." The name of the single released in this post is "A Sizzling Slab of Memories." It will have at least four songs, two distinct plus versions, but there are only two here right now, so no batch file, EAC burn data or cue sheets yet. Credits are attached right now, but will be revised and expanded upon completion of the single to be all inclusive.

Tracks are still rough: No effects, unpolished, no vocals, and one spot needs normalizing (the trumpet). Also, on "A Pound," I meant to take out one sound and forgot. These versions will be on the single though, and they can't be lost this way.

New Note on the Delay (Tuesday, March 6): The tracks below are instrumentals. I have lyrics to go with them. The vocals need to be recorded. I can't get a mic until Friday. Should have mentioned this sooner. I'm likely to record new songs while I wait.

Note on the Delay: Sorry about the delay in completing this. I spent today, Sunday, making a SoundFont. Even knowing exactly what I'm doing the process is very time consuming.

Starting from scratch each individual sample has to be recorded. Then each individual sample has to be edited and fine tuned. From there the samples are loaded in the SoundFont editor;I am using SynthFont's Viena, which happens to be an excellent program. Once loaded the samples are assigned to keys. During that process every single aspect of the sound involved can be tweaked to the nth degree. Frequency and delay, attack and decay, sustain and release, all of these things can bet set exactly the way the musician wants, with exact specs and with automated filtering and modulation. Once the sheer magnitude of capabilities sink in the work isn't quite as daunting, but it's very time consuming to do it well. The time spent is well worth it, however. In the end the musician has 127 keys of audio ready to be used in realtime dynamic composing.

I have to make around fifty SoundFonts to have all of my current data available for immediate use. The way things have been before this I had to either use someone else's sound choices or a percussion sequencer, and the limitations were very frustrating. Well, it was either that or mix in each individual sound from it's own distinct track, which led to 30+ track compositions, sort of like musical spaghetti code.

Anyway, this single will be done soon. The album will really shine brightly with this advancement. It's good stuff. Very exciting

"Did somebody say procrastination?" looks at self accusatorily in mirror and mutters under breath "That's not what's going on, just in case it may have seemed like that, out there in the reaches of the cosmos. No, the problem here is too much tinkering and not enough time." continues downward spiral into art... thank God work is coming to snatch me out of the down-tempo madness in progress right now

Here's a blurb that's been sitting on the front page, complete with a grammatical error that's bigger than sh**:
After a long affair with a cheap floozy of a pen, a Razorball, I have finally become involved with a pen of much higher caliber. She's not a Cross, but she has the same standards and reputation of such a bastion. Her full fountain never runs dry of inspiration, and her curves make me want to doodle, even in the morning (gasp).

It might be heartbreaking to some pens not to be the most expensive around, but my baby gives no evidence of any cheapness. Such things don't enter into our relationship. I'll never let on that her sheath with the hand enamel and Alpine flower print is a knock-off. That would be hurtful. Ah yes, the pretty little number and I have many long pages to look forward to together.
I hate it when that happens.


Have run out of time to include a review of the albums by each artist tonight I've listened to most recently, but that will be available late tomorrow afternoon. It's been very difficult to write anything at all due to the fact that I've been couch surfing. The outlines for what I've got are complete however, so it won't take very much time to translate these reviews from shorthand into the vernacular.

"Every single thing about a person can change because of finance alone. There are very few things in this world with such a deep reach into the human condition. Some might believe it goes without saying, never having been to both extremes of finance, great success and absolute ruin. Pulling one's self out of catastrophe takes a heavy toll on the psyche, and it could be inferred that in such a situation there is perhaps little else a soul can muster to say."

Doing it wrong: One day changed the names of every title in my blogroll at Zero Symbolism, just to be funny and creative, forgot to change them all back for 9 months. [Didn't see them, they were at the bottom of the page.]


Whereas I once supported massive, violent civil unrest as the most effective means of social change, I have grown older and wiser. I still believe massive civil unrest is the most effective means of social change, but now I support the non-violent variety. Killing the 1%, eating them, living in their mansions and enjoying their wealth is absolutely wrong. We should not kill them and eat them! No physical harm must come to the targets!

[Motorhead refuted.]

Must you know my life crosses the line?
You surely know, life drains like fine wine.

Most recent poetry compilation is entitled Falls' Idylls. It's in the back somewhere, to keep the blog from bursting at the seams. The number of posts has been diminished by a few thousand, and a lot of it was deleted (politics, 1200 or so pages of writing chunked). The poetry is still here.

"So now you know
Gets me so fine."


After the Blackout: LoIC

Anonymous is bombarding the DoJ, RIAA and Universal Music, and promises have been made that campaign raising abilities of SOPA supporting Democrats will be targeted in the near future. Anonymous has asked that opponents of SOPA not inclined to use LoIC follow #StopSOPA on Twitter and retweet all tweets. (see pic)

This comes on the heels of a unilateral takedown of Megaupload earlier.

Justice dot gov has been down for at least half an hour. Mike Masnick at TechDirt made a very good point earlier today: Democrats may think young people aren't paying attention to this issue, but they are WRONG. If they aren't careful they are going to alienate an entire generation of potential supporters with their asinine authoritarianism, an authoritarianism that is hugely invalid because of the very high level of ignorance among Congressmen concerning the technical aspects of these bills. [writer stops before rage causes temporary blindness again]


Wasting huge amounts of time in IRC typing away the hours. It's my new drug. Don't wanna go full open with nicks since some channels allow stupid, crusty toads to use full controls. Think I may put a channel here, or at least a node of a channel.


"When the world ends it ends differently for each person then alive to see it, each person who chances to see it among all the other things to be seen and felt and understood around us all the time; and then very soon it begins again." - John Crowley

[cut cut snip mangle snip cut ]

Ask yourself, is using your computer too easy?

Complicated, like Stephen Hawking physics complicated?


Where did they go, my moments in time?
Gulped down by the belles,
Passed around in the light,
Fluttered away, nervous heartbeat stopped;
Not even the women said goodbye.
No victim here
Drank them all dry first,
Wondered why that deep life is cursed.

Call the Waaambulance: Theorem: Some of the most poverty stricken writers of all time had easier lives than MINE! MINE! MINE! (sorry about that- being poor can make someone possessive); still have an easier life than many trapped in totalitarian dictatorships, thankful every day for what there is instead of what there isn't. So much nicer than wankful.

removed from front page today:
My most recent poetry compilation, and perhaps the one that I believe is the most technically pleasing, is posted toward the rear of this site. It contains several hundred posts that were previously separate here. I put them all together to save space and for a more effective presentation. The compilation is entitled Falls' Idylls, I moved it to the back with the rest of the poetry so as not to distract a visitor with its depth. You should note that just because the site has been compressed it is not necessarily any less deep. The compilation was mostly NOT written in the autumn, if you need help with the meaning. The copyright of Falls' Idylls began in 2010 and the work was finished only recently in 2011. Having to put a fake date on it to remove it from the rest of the posts is somewhat inconvenient. Most of it was written with a Pilot G2 before the content arrived at Symbols.

From Privvy Symbols, where it sat for along time:
The image comes from FLCL - フリクリ - pronounced "fooly cooly." Although it only ran six episodes, in my opinion it epitomizes the brilliance with which unconventional art and a speculative fiction storyline can be joined with music. The music soundtrack has long been my favorite among Asian style animation, although some others come close. Like a true animation snob though, I have to say that demultiplexed soundtracks [check the legality of those in your area] must be judged by effects as well as music. Fooly Cooly does not have the best sound effects out there, not even close. It makes the top twenty, maybe.
Each episode is available on its own DVD.
I spent a little time on that branch of my web area known as Privvy after moving Chapter 17 over there. It just didn't feel right having it sit on the front of Symbols, and if I felt that way about it a normal mom may have been very upset with it.

Site news: Here's a link to my Last.FM page. When scrobbling was halted for years it was because all personal purchased recordings were lost due to uncontrollable circumstances. A very extensive collection of legal live recordings, written of so many times years ago, is still around, and may be streamed and scrobbled again in the near future. My musical taste has evolved dramatically in the past few years, however, and that old collection reflects only past tastes, and does that very poorly (see trivia).

Current music enjoyed and admired will only be played and scrobbled during review sessions of downloads, before they are deleted. Absolutely no music that would offend any member of the Recording Industry Association of America, or any musician, is kept on any personal hard drive or other storage media. Broadcasting that music in any fashion, when possible, will be done strictly for the sake of artistic judgment and commercial promotion.

Trivia: During the peak of my Last.FM usage in 2009 I lived in a retreat in a deep forest. Gaining access to the Internet required driving for twenty-five minutes. My listening choices only reached the British site during trips into the city, during circumstances that were anything but normal. Suffice it to say that looking at the account will give almost no real information about my listening habits within that time period.

Muscular and Skeletal Issues: Currently spondylolisthesis has blissfully eased up, and for once sciatica is something that can be laughed at. Unfortunately the absence of soft tissue in both my right and left shoulders means that sleep comes when exhaustion outweighs the pain, suffered despite constant attempts to find a position that eases discomfort. A gentle, soulful doctor from my hometown provided a sample of something heavier for the problem, the first time it had been made available to me in eleven years. It made the pain go away for almost four hours, although it had absolutely no impact on my ability to sleep. Usage of that substance is not something I want to resume, but the kindness of that medication for a person with my problems can not be overstated.

To wrap up this discussion and get to the point, if it weren't for the pain there would be a great number of things that would be found here, as promised, instead of absent. Provided sweet eternal release does not arrive for your author, those things will still eventually be located at this site. The dark fantasy chapters of "Blood Red Mist," for the work turns in that direction, and the music of Nein Emerging really do need to be publicly available. It will happen.

The End

"So then the guy asked me what day it was, and I had no idea. Nothing came to me. Apparently it was Christmas, and he and his coworkers took great exception to 'scroffing' with me at 4 a.m." - some dumb guy

Comedian Louis CK made a video of one of his performances. He inserted no special digital protections of any kind. He offered it on his website for $5. He has made $1 million in no time. This has been proven over and over: Piracy is not reduced by the protection installed on content, and financial success of a product has nothing to do with it. In fact, quite often DRM serves as temptation to script-kiddies to pirate content they would normally leave alone. Meanwhile,

"Christmas is wonderful, but it isn't until Sunday. Today is the winter solstice. The old knowledge didn't die when the story from The Good Book Part Two started. This day has always been astronomically important. Marking it predates the whole salvation thing. Maybe that's why some people think it's spooky."


Here's what's FUN: A Korean movie called War of the Arrows. The director toppled a horse for the movie; somewhere out there some PETA members have gotta be pissed. I applaud the maneuver in this case. The video footage wouldn't have made any sense without the horse toppling. People needed to see it happen for the sequence to work, and the practice, abolished in the United States now, has likely rarely been used in a more dramatic sequence.

BTW: Did Hollywood fucking forget how to make great action movies? 2012: Who doesn't think there will be more movies like Blow Hard with a Vengeance and De Niro's Got a Gun, Again this coming year? I'd like to know why I have to watch movies in foreign languages to see great adventures. Do directors not understand so many people are sick and tired of seeing the same old celebrity tycoons paraded through action sequences that show off big dollar spending but are totally unbelievable?
[I just heard about Prometheus and checked out 2012 movies. There are a couple of promising ones. The Hobbit...(hardly a US idea though). The field could be worse]

War of the Arrows gets 11/10. This Korean movie is about a guy with a bow, in the woods, and it stomps the ass of the last five big box office action movies here. One of the movie's biggest expenditures per second was likely some footage of a tiger, yet Director Han-min Kim pulled off edge of the seat entertainment. Maybe people in California and New York should start paying attention.

[I yanked this from the front page so people don't think all I'm doing for the entire holiday season is watching movies, even though that's all I'm doing through the entire holiday season, and because it was crap.]

"Truth is one, but error proliferates. Man tracks it down and cuts it up into little pieces hoping to turn it into grains of truth. But the ultimate atom will always essentially be an error, a miscalculation." - Daumal

"Hanging's too good for him! Burning's too good for him! He should be cut into little bitty pieces and buried alive!!"- Hanover Fist

"Life is hard and then you're not even close to being lucky enough to die; it just stays hard."

Newsflash: Author worries novel will hurt overall body of life's work, withholds chapters and deletes content. Lack of alcohol consumption cited as a problem by those close to the situation. Ongoing.

Lt. John Pike of the U. C. Davis student pepper spraying incident in some of his more harrowing adventures:

I decided against posting all of his info here, for obvious reasons.

Derp. Ah, herf... derp.

Tyson Bowers III, a brain damaged troll who writes at Christwire, displayed a full blown obsession with homoeroticism in his post there yesterday. He discussed Skyrim, which, in his mind, is all about homosexuality. He also confused Bethesda and Blizzard, but that was likely the least idiotic thing about his post. Words fail to describe how severely confused this man is about an innocent RPG. Suffice it to say that for him to come up with everything he did reveals a lot about Bowers' own personality. The stupidest thing he squeezed out of the giant pimple where his brain is supposed to be was a secret meaning for the word Dovahkin. The article is so outlandish it begs the question of whether Bowers was not serious or seriously deranged.

(edited grammar mistake)

Taking care of details in RL. Sustained numerous severe injuries: broken ribs, collarbone. Recuperating.

"If you are not a liberal in your 20's, you have no heart. If you're not a conservative in your 30's you have no brain.. IF YOU'RE NOT AN ANARCHIST AFTER THAT, YOU HAVE NO EYES!" - R33k

I lost the comment about flitting around the country holding the novel back - Windows doesn't use a Klipper type program. I accidentally copied blank space over the comment while moving it, so it's gone forever. Fuck you, Wndows developers, fuck you.


Hack Inquirer writer Dean Wilson penned a spot of drooling tomfoolery, continuing the sad quest of quasi-legitimate journalism to ride the coattails of computer geeks to a slightly higher level of recognition. He managed to get Occupy Wall Street into the same set of paragraphs, although friction foam formed at the corners of his mouth. The hack writing is as close as the article comes to describing any real hacker. Wilson's obvious attempt to troll anon through appointing an imaginary female leader reveals the depths of his PTSD from having spent over a decade orally cleaning a New York lavatory for The Man (his, evidently). Lulz Boat became Louise Boat, and Lulz Sec gets paraded around again in another sad and pointless name dropping bit, and it's just some bored young adults addicted to exploit adrenaline. Family and friends of Dean Wilson have asked that his mental condition be taken into account when judging the quality of his writing.


Not clear if Ghaddafi died of wounds he sustained while being captured or not, but his body was taken into custody during the fall of Sirte. There are conflicting reports. This is a great day for advocates of good hair, and a milestone in the struggle against insane ugliness. [Image]
Update: Dead. He wasn't Stalin, and as far as oppressive leaders go he doesn't makes the top 100, in my opinion. It's really more fitting to say he was just another mediocre dictator, not really much of anything besides a man with too much power. All such leaders are typically brutal, paranoid and violent. Ghaddafi was no exception.

President Obama distanced Washington from Libya, mercifully. At last, an oil rich nation we won't control from a distance, openly anyway, and won't be taking on the burden of rebuilding their nation. We have a mess all our own. Now about these jobs here at home...


"I finally got my hands on drug called DXM. Shall I take it today?" - some guy who wasn't even joking.

"Fear is not the little death that brings total obliteration. (sic) Morphine does that. What did Frank Herbert die of? A heart attack? That would figure."

'A guy walks into a bar. He gets one hell of a bruise and a large knot in the center of his forehead. He reminds himself to pay more attention to where h's going.

"A guy walks on a bar. Rather he stumbles, crumples, crawls, stands, staggers, falls, sleeps. Wakes up, realizes he was walking around on two bars.

"A guy walks out of the bar. He decided his life would be better suited helping people in a medical career. His father is very disappointed. His mother cries. He becomes a world class surgeon, but even that somehow just wasn't good enough for his parents. They never let go of their last vestige of power over him: Guilt. They were Catholic.

"A guy walks into a bar, orders two double shots of Jameson with Abita Amber chasers. He read some horrible, mangled excuse for humor on the Internet. It was part of a series of quotes dedicated to simple word play. It never delivered any mirth, barely a smile. He couldn't get the pointlessness out of his head until after the last shot. 'The shite some people write, these Days." - You know very well who.

Finding a lot of errors lately? That's partially because the desktop is jammed onto a tiny nightstand, the keyboard is lap ridden and the mouse is on a futon pillow. Must look up and turn head 30° right to see what has just been typed. 'll do it. Ah: Happy Tuesday.

=::+ Speaking of legal action, recently Comcast has sent out C&D letters with regard to bit torrent downloads of the animated series Bleach. The action may come at this point because Cartoon Network's Adult Swim has been airing Bleach on Saturday nights. There were never any real complaints before. Ratings on Saturday night anime showings have been down, and somebody with Turner may have spoken up about the popularity of Bleach episodes online. Comcast's letters are pointless considering episodes are widely available to be directly downloaded from numerous file hosting sites, not just via bit torrent.

"What's that? I'm Raffle Booze? No, I'm Knot. I do know Raffle Booze, and I'm Knot Dim. How may I direct your call? Ruts that? How many shots have Eye Dunne? Dunne is an optometrist, not a gunsmith or a hunter, but I can ring the suite. And if you're really serious about the rut, I can ring the sweet too. You sound over excited. Have you Ben drinking? Because when he does, it'll agitate anyone..."

Pieces of fiction disclaimer:
Below: A subway station which have gone underwater due to Tropical Cyclone Talas. That cyclone coincided with Tropical Storm Lee in Louisiana. A magical air current accompanied Lee deep inland. Temperatures dropped to 53 Fahrenheit, in August. [label on post pic]

Posts have returned to twenty-four hour a day updates here (if I'm awake and have something to say) for the first time since February 2010. Instead of creating a new link one is chosen to be expanded, and the tweaking and modification of that entry happens throughout the day and night - I'm going to start putting the time of the individual blurbs next to them. [who gives a FF?]

Don't blame yourself. Blame that cunt in your belly known to many as the male yin. It's an evil cunt, that one. In the world following the second coming the male yin has been neutralized and mainly just craves pies and scones, instead of the frozen static that turns eyes inward, and black milk from the breast of the devil's daughter herself." - from Black Metal Bong Hits, by Sven Jarlfjiester

"Yeah, so what, I made up the rest, and if you've got some big fuckin' beef, then why don't you bring me some zen?"

My back is against the wall on this chapter. I'll tell those who are close. Readership will get it. One day back story will come out. It's all about the child anyway, all mundanity.That's the difficulty. Know? Rough: You have no idea. Tuesday. In the meantime I am eating the cooked remains of another living creature that had blood in it. Verboten... [9:45 P.M.]
Official line on Fate/Stay Night: By the eighth episode I have decided that the main character is a huge douche nozzle. The English dub just pisses me off worse, as the voice over actor is too emotional in his deliveries and sounds. Well, at least the creators got a strong reaction from me... By episode 10 I wonder if he is drawn by a gender bent androgyne. [9:45 P.M.]

So crazy it just might lurk: Eric Cantor, kidnapped by GOP extremists for failing to take his wingnuttery to the ultimate level by receiving truck nut implants, has his skin dyed and a long fake beard glued on before he is stood up in front of cameras where he blubbers and begs before summarily expiating his treason through the bombardment of his person by water balloons full of fortified Metamucil dropped from ultralights. It's like a page out of a Bizarrow World execution - a United States citizen targeted by flying aircraft, dressed up and made up, the real person not visible at all to the casual glance. It's a creative view of the Anwar al-Awlaki execution, but instead of an Islamic extremist folks will have to imagine Cantor in the role, balloons falling from on high to strike him down. al-Awlaki was described as an Islamic extremist, which is a fundamentalist at core. So many people have made their fortunes off of comparing Christian fundamentalists in America to Islamic extremists that it's not even inventive to dredge up the image. The justification for the bombardment: Cantor isn't nearly Christian enough. Also, the event draws attention to Virginia, which is no longer an enemy of the United States, they just have a Representative who acts as though it is. Sound thin? So was the justification for executing al-Awlaki.

On a serious note, we couldn't attempt to capture al-Awlaki? He was a United States citizen, and the terms of his CIA ordered execution have been highly disputed. Read the Farber article, at the very least. [If anyone asks, this was a post about the execution of United States citizens by predator drones, okay? (lol).] After reading Eric Cantor refer to Occupy Wall Street as a " growing mob," the idea that he could expiate his sins against ultra-conservatism by being doused with fiber drink dropped from 2,000 feet seemed amusing. [4:00 P.M.]
More pfft:
Longer lived, more learned and dramatically more politically aware, the long hiatus is almost over. Anyone who remembers should be able to recognize the difference in the work immediately. While fully operational the interlocking dynamics of multiple social networks for political stories and opinions reduces the web log to a mere facet of the experience. (like a blinking error light - still have not resumed) Who else has not monetized at that level? Who else will back their ideals at gut level, with ZERO? 'Nuff said. [promoting political writing for no pay- oh buoy! 3:20 P.M.]

Do these fluorescent neon colors clash? The question, really, is, do they make you need a pacifier? Ah hope so.

Because of Zee Wymmin:
"Never trust anybody." How does one forget that? If somebody asked for hypotheses on circumstances in which making the mistake of trusting somebody turned out to be costly, then any true cynic would likely come up with a scenario very close to reality. It will happen when you least expect it. Betrayal and bad intentions completely ignore good faith and positive energy. The victim of betrayed trust will be at their nicest, kindest, most unsuspecting as they are unwittingly victimized on a social or economic level. Note: Stop believing all people are good. Many of them are selfish, judgmental, hurtful and deaf to the truth. Treat interactions as though one's life depends on it, because when a truly jealous woman becomes involved it can very much be that way. [Not to mention jealous men and the other dregs of society]

Some would do well to think carefully about this. It could keep one from getting hurt, or worse, becoming embroiled in gossip and intrigue designed to destroy character. Pain is just pain. Character assassination is more devious and takes far longer to heal. -sigh- If only I listened more carefully to my own advice...

It bothers me, but I have hurt some women as bad as they hurt me, even unintentionally, to the nth degree, more than once. Spurned and scorned once I did hurt a woman with my words, not to her and very calculatingly, and that arrow thudded to the feathers in her heart. Dazed and confused I once hurt someone because I wasn't paying attention, and once because I was paying attention to the wrong things. I'm neither malicious nor hurtful, definitely not predatory and no longer arrogant at all. I almost always believe people are good, and that sometimes we all make mistakes. Sometimes people say things, do things they don't really mean. I've been hurt, emotionally, socially, financially, even physically. I've always been too trusting. I hope not to let myself get hurt like that so much in the future. As painful as personal interactions can be I'd rather get hurt than hurt someone else again. Someone who feels they have been painted the victim will play the role until even a stone statue will weep over the injustice. In such a spectacle it's far better to be the victim, for the townfolk they carry pitchforks.

Sometimes there's just too much trust. Definitely too much information without specifics, and it's just not going to get specific. I was the only person harmed physically, and she packed one heck of a wallop. Moving on...

There are literally two kinds of people when it comes to otaku culture: those who apply the concept and those who don't deserve to have that phrase applied to them. True otaku at its most negative is an affliction similar to Asperger's Syndrome and is rare, but a clinical diagnosis only works case by case. During my youth kids who read Spiderman and The X-Men were frowned upon for being different. Things have not changed that much.

Japanese artistic entertainment no longer has to be imported at a super high cost in order to be enjoyed, but people who enjoy escapism still get a smirk for failing to be alpha among alpha. Manga has replaced comic books everywhere I go, but it's still the same experience. Considering the size of the genre and the sales on fantasy books, comics, games, series and movies, it is a misapplication to call the entire culture otaku. Otaku means "has no outside life," but everything about anime, manga and comic book culture comes from outside the home - a pet peeve.

Here's a thought. Critics should take a look at their own lives. They should stop talking about other people for spending too much time on artistic interests and develop interests of their own. That is especially in light of considering how much time on the Internet it takes to have the knowledge to launch the criticism in the first place.


If you can't figure out what it means or what it is from, that's because there isn't necessarily a meaning at all, and it may not be from anywhere other than here. Great art doesn't have to follow patterns or examples or established guidelines. It just says and shows whatever the fuck one wants it to or feels. Even crappy art is spontaneous enough to trigger a synapse or two. Have some electricity in your brain. That's what it is all about. Fuckin deep, right? aye yie yie

"I can tell you aren't from around here. You don't have a gun rack in your truck."

"That's actually not my truck. I don't drive. It's bad for the environment. I walk or bicycle everywhere."

"Come again? Where do you put your shotguns?"


"So then I called the kid's mother and used a fake name to ask for him. I did it only to irritate her. 8.4 minutes later I was on the ground surrounded by local sheriff's deputies with guns drawn. And I couldn't explain my way out of it. I couldn't say, 'Look, you've got it all wrong. Far from being the disgusting thing you apparently think it is, I'm just selling this teenager some pirated material on these shiny discs.' That statement would have made the situation federal in less than five seconds. I just gritted my teeth and made a mental note to call the woman a fucking bitch with particular vehemence the next time I saw her, which in my book would be altogether too soon.


I wound up getting charged with a broken tail light. They said I was free to go. I started the car and got a ticket before I could drive anywhere. Funny story, right?"

She responded, "I just asked if you could pass me a napkin for my lime wedge, but keep going. I love hearing about a stranger's life, especially when I've already decided to have sex with them."

"Cool, so... wait, no, don't wait. Should we go?"

"Then I left that vast seething sprawl of humanity that grows like a fungus in the crotch of America, that pulsating urban sprawl by the Mississippi River. I looked at the change in my pocket and calculated how that meager life savings of 72 cents could be used to stay out of Louisiana. Anywhere is better if that place is all you know..."

That second sprawl is bugging the hell out of some people.


Secret technique for distraction

I moved while I was away.

If it ever cools off I'll start churning out chapters for you. It's not nice and cool down here where I live. My whole psyche changes with the cool down. (and now it has cooled down)

Don't forget about the dangers of the electromagnetic pulse. Warn the world about EMP! Our few chers are at stake!


I believe it's very important to educate the younger people of the world so that they do not make the same mistakes as our generation. As it turns out, sometimes they make worse mistakes in the causes and changes that they support, and sometimes our mistakes make us look like fools. You don't see hordes of people stoned out in the streets anymore. Instead we have data worshipers who walk around linked into a wireless world, their bodies clean but their minds very dependent on programmers and code most of them take for granted, not to mention the complete lack of civil liberties on shortwave radio. None of this existed not long ago. Remaining educated has never been more important, in both the unreal data construct and the old fashioned, frontier times world that a huge percentage of the globe's population grows up in. It's only our presents and our futures that are at stake. (Who writes things like this?)

Yes, I am leaving Louisiana.

"Placed in untenable positions and unwinnable situations, the people in this world who grew up down by law, and they exist, believe me, ultimately resort to delving further and further into the criminal mentality. Government and society shut them out. There is nothing left but to survive on the outside of the system, which almost always means those people wind up inside the system. It's a vicious cycle."

"Even now there are those who believe putting a human being in a cage will somehow fix them. They are usually shareholders in the prison business. Many people do not realize how profitable it is that people commit crimes. There are investors who love it. They rake in dough while ineffective rehabilitation and social solutions remain in place."

"No, not wobble wobble wobble wobble -- wub wub wub wub. The two styles are completely different. One style is all ghetto crisp chintzy coca beat, and the other is diamond high rolling step. Who doesn't know this? Seriously." - a techno snob (yep)


"I Just Can't Get Enough"
This picture really requires no comment.

Gay Fixers
If you don't run a tight Linux or BSD, you're already halfway to gay. Get yer iCocks (is an actual electronic chicken *__* ) ready, because there may be some customer penetration if you go full blown Apple.

If I wrote the way I'd like to it would take 20 pages to describe a character. Modern readers don't want ultra-realism along the lines of Honore de Balzac, though. They want a story and something to hold their attention. I always feel the story is lacking without lots of realism, and some of my best comments came from what I considered very minimalistic text.

"The artistry of palm reading can be somewhat complicated when the subject is holding a palm full of broken glass, is bleeding profusely and wants the new lines, the cuts, to mean something as well. If one sees a customer like that, a palm reader would do well to lock up her shop and shutter the windows."

"Subharmonic frequency distortions, recordings, categorizations and human ear range modulations - the dog heard the case handlers change the terms of the operation, and didn't like it. I jammed cotton in my ears to shut out the knowledge."

Here I am on my second serious novel. The other has a title that does not roll off the tongue, but Guild by Association is every bit as serious as "Blood Red Mist." Not included in that novel were references to classical culture and elite society. I was very young when I wrote it, and it contains so many of the pent up unspoken emotions of youthful restlessness. The biggest criticism I can mount of that work, and it is a devastating criticism, is that it is low brow. It does not educate the reader, but flows like an effort from a novice storyteller. And that's what it was. I was a novice, not really old enough to understand the concepts aging imprints on the brain that spawn truly classical thought. "Blood Red Mist" at first approach will seem like more of the same, considering the crime and sexual elements of the work. Make no mistake, however. I am writing it with the education of the reader at the top of my priorities.

I just witnessed more consecutive hours of rain from Tropical Storm Lee than someone in any other part of the United States possibly could have. Wet nasty mess. I finally got sick of self censoring. I should never have censored the site anyway. A lot of the best stuff was absolutely batshit crazy, which was of course what I targeted. I am nothing if not predictable in what art I will destroy. It's always the cool stuff. Meanwhile, still raining.

It looks like a phenomenal place to shop, doesn't it? Shots of Shibuya at night can be breathtaking. I saw one shot that was pure magic, taken at night, and then another of the exact same place with the same angle in daylight with sepia tone. It was grungy, dirty and every bit exactly like every other big city street I've ever seen: gray concrete and brick walls cooking in the sun.

29th midnightish
Ulquiorra from the above shot. One piece above is from Tite Kubo himself, the creator of Bleach. I took a few liberties (harumph). The other is from Blood, presumably. I'm not going to take these down without a C&D. One's from a Bleach Valentine piece, the other, well, she got thirsty... nope, wait, discovered it is fan art.

It is true that I deleted almost 2000 entries, but likely only 1000 pages or so of writing. The thing is, hundreds of pages of the political commentary had been completely corrupted by an outside influence. The word "lies" appeared thousands of times. Somebody really did a number on the blog. I never printed it out. If I possessed originals when I discovered what had been done I would have called in every favor and association at my disposal to initiate a federal investigation, and I would have been well within my rights to do so. But I had no point of reference to delineate all the tampering that had been done, and it's just as well.

My political opinions, while they haven't changed much at all, were still very immature in that arena. I do still believe the same things, and now I believe them more strongly than I ever did. My home environment is in massive flux right now after a very painful separation earlier this year. I have no problem writing fiction publicly. I am not ignorant enough to write about politics and cultural ideology publicly. I have seen and heard what some in the mob are capable of when confronted with opinions they disagree with. When I once again achieve the comforts available to me before the separation, I intend to give full voice to my beliefs with a gusto that can only come from the maturity one discovers in the later stages of life, those years into which I was dragged kicking and screaming by old man time himself.

I finished my last poetry compilation Falls' Idylls, or at least I thought I did. I noticed there are still several loose poems hanging around, but for the very most part it is finished.

August 25th, 2009
I have to be anti-drug. Drugs hurt too many people I loved along the way. There's fun, and then there's just too much fun. I won't tell other people how to live their life, but go one step past marijuana and everything starts to turn to a quagmire, for the youth, anyway. Young people deserve a world free of of all the bullshit that comes from illegal drugs and all the horrible things that can happen because of them. Some people can live in happy moderation, and those people own the world. More power to them, and even blessings, and for the people who live clean and spiritually full, even more so. God shows great love for people who keep their minds and bodies clean; they just get it.

more 24th-
Wanting to release something that will be meaningful in a timeless sense has led me to make the chapters longer and more involved. That hurts the cliffhanger approach. Given the choice between either shallow and quick or deep and long I decided on deep and long. I refuse to be remembered as shallow and quick. Now I'm procrastinating by writing this... so bad.

August 24, 2011
On occasion I append out of the ordinary text to normal entries. I thought it would be very humorous to write lines about someone's murder one night. The man happens to be a very close friend of mine, and one of the hardest workers I have ever known. I thought it would add to his notoriety if I posted a thousand lines of "I will not murder John Doe" in the spirit of the character Jack Nicholson played in The Shining. It came out very artistic. It was only on the front page for a few minutes. Hopefully nobody actually worried I murdered somebody and wrote lines as penance. Something tells me somewhere out there somebody did not find it as amusing as I did, but it was all in good fun and everything worked out without any ominous vans pulling up outside or talks with special agents in charge.

I keep finding posts I think I deleted, and posts I searched for with the search function that came up empty. The posts I find that I think I deleted tend to be ones I really wanted to delete. I find that very humorous. Maybe somebody at Google just doesn't like me, or maybe I have spent so much time on the computer in my life that I sometimes dream about computer work and wake up thinking the work actually got done. It's a rare occurrence, but one I found worth mentioning.

Oh, this is the comments page. It's going to work like Twitter and this web log. Instead of the oldest writing being at the top it will be at the bottom, like ancient Chinese and some Berber texts, but, more familiarly, like every computer journal. Instead of adding on at the end I'm going to push comments down as I go along so the most time relevant comments will be the first ones found; hopefully I will never forget the date.

Image derivative from Ah! My Goddess.
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Symbols of Decay is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License..
Related written works at Angelfire, Sex Symbols, Cymbals of Silence.Repent or Die