Conflict and Evolutionary Theory

Thesis: Conflict served as propagating factors for the development of civilization almost as much as hunger. Territoriality, especially as pertaining to sex between early men and women, drove men wild with the desire to excel, for defense, revenge and jealousy, and a whole host of other factors. These are emotions in their most primal state. Eat, frak, kill, win, celebrate [vulgar body things], repeat without kill unless it becomes necessary. [Frak is always win.]

Frak is new F word.

Spiritual Pandrogyny

There is a being created from the sexual union of two beloved people. Its existence can be terrifying. It's existence can be so holy it shines like a light. If there is a name people have chosen to call it, then surely love exists in the derivation of the idea. The name has not made itself available to me [starts with something...]. It may be a billion faceted awareness that spawns and dissolves anew with each creation and fulfillment. People have lost their sanity and their souls in pursuit of a way to force it into existence. The smallest simplest answer... if you know it, then truly you have been blessed.


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Liet-Kynes Ghola II: Safety Tips

Don't forget to drink your pee to live!

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Power Storm


Have a nice night

My original point.
Please be nice to people.

Link of the evening.


troubled children
the angels on your shoulders
guide your ways
the shepherds on the fields
will never let you get lost
the love and the tenderness
you feel the moment
you feel

didn't you know?
all those who are good protect it
and the wolves can not hide anywhere but in their caves
far away from the open eyes
and ready weapons
of those who would protect the flock

Roll Call of the Lesser Devils 137

The Orogeny of Meaning

Part Ⅰ

order the chaos
harmonize naturally organize.
free the everything
suffering song bird soul sing
dark reaper blood drinker harvesting
cross come forward bow down
be inclined
requires only lying
no truth in you
be unkind, tell the mean lie
but far from a painful sigh
makes hearts flutter
the mouth, the tongue, the lips
much more primitive
you need this and Aye
lovers seeking like animals
only guilt makes the act inhibitive
all confronted past mistakes
those came before
how long is it that pleasure takes?
with emotion condemnation
impossibility in devotion
sexual energy condensing
predestination limit further finite
lingua mostly cunning
but of course you saw that coming
and comes and comes:
We were always meant to be together.

When placed before the terrible beauty
Of our own existence,
It's been said already
Free your mind.

Cower in unnecessary cobwebs
latticed existence, bannisters, railings
buttressed by
Will release the vision of the unity
That burns like the fresh winter snow.

preferability meaning yesterday
rocking lullaby words
beauty alone
Springs from love of the universe
a thematic regularity
off course that ceases
inextricably linked,
with communicative expression.
only by personal choice
flooded by personal desires
refused all ire amid refuse fires
burning all love letters Aye sent to Mi

the idea flood circle the living sphere
all such presupposed knowledge
voices itself
orderly explanations
gift wrapped routine presents
a recurring daily scheduled presence
rap upon the box's door
wrap yourself up in a coat of many colors
construction workers' treats
tender, succulent, pink sweet meat
given that the present exists
merely as a springboard to past and future
even hatred relents when retribution
spirals back in upon the hatred
nobody wants to claim the
vanilla bean white bread soylent disgust
they dreamed up on their own
while the truth took a shower
and set off into the hills to roam
those two just above Rome
it's not too late to think about it
if you can think about it
when it gets that way
there will be remorse
and sorrow
as the purging flames follow
their natural course
you scream

caveat reveals no meaning
vacuum unified existence
Room 12b
vacuuming a strangers dead skin shed
so it can become a plant again
But how this leads to seeming weird
usage of terms
Past and future
create disunion in 8 dimensions
turned on its side
split and tearing down 32
numbers games and place ace aces
tear drop nose rings in pretty young faces
breaks into two parts
half of the whole
buried in a hole new way to die
implacably torn apart, in pain
and paying the rent on rent asunder
next step a nexus
creating a framework for an office in Texas
where the most evil
wear ear rings made from dead boll weevils
sized to fit, tiny foreheads with an 18 pitch
pitching another hissy fit
man in history ill will work
far more conducive
extraplanetary dabbling
traced to networks identifying
that which we think of as
ultimate now
a satellite lens, a milking cow
she sat, got a light, lends a smile,
and wow,
she knows how good she looks, and how

future present method eulogized
buy one which one describes
the death of the occidental tourist
an occurrence, an oxidation purist
that has knots yet
taken to a place and kept very still
ordered to catch and delivering still
the fullness of the moment
one twinkled eye looks forward anxiously
and another one to the rear
the method has a half-life
of porcelain cleansing after thoughts
always too close too near
patience came completely undone
upon arrival of the tiny ideas
swimming in unison
the product of centuries old venereal want
how could she look forward
without ever looking back
at all the fun in the rear view mirror
When will it always be here already?
right after and before it comes
The present, then, we can’t be divided
or separated
one creature under pleasure
indivisible, with proof
uncanny places touched
oh perfect,
seek an explanation means
gods, don't stop
division of the cells, the self, the attention getting
intersected with temporal conjecture
take the love and with it inject your mind
with hardcore reality, the gravity of the act,
alone all solo flying brazen blossoming
verbal expressions loosed like thousands of tiny arrows
aimed at visual interpretations
audio reception, huoh huoh huoh,
physical potential mystical intentional
a specific point in space taking up no units
divided and divided and divided it all comes together
at the center here is nothing
wrapped around and emptiness
opening doors into places nobody has ever seen
doors and hallways never built
searching inside finds nothing
searching outside finds nothing
it's all balanced on an edge wrapped through light
winking lasers skimming out of sight
a living sentient creature
knows no beginning nor ever an end
divine awareness a childhood friend
the whole place speaks to you
from you know not where
a great many things are said
but you do not dare
repeat a silent syllable of it

to digest and digress through these terms
to caress
gives us ideas
it's nothing less
we are only our senses
our eyes our ides
If we are at all frightened
it's not time to die
To digress even further
Might lead one blather on and blunder
experience utter self familiarity,
Even question the existence of other people's garity
To believe that he or she
(darn, which is it?)
Is alone
Singular in the mind of the gods,
And if that were true
Then what gods could there be
besides the one true self,
Crying out to see another self
joined forever as one and happy
and by seeing that doom the notion
That the universe belongs
to anyone.

In Guatemala as a Youth

When I was in Guatemala in 1983 at the tail end of a long civil war, and not extremely long after the devastating earthquake in the 1970's, the culture was friendly and the climate was perfect. I was only 12 years old when plans for the trip got underway. I went there without my parents. I've never stopped wanting to return.

I stayed on a coffee plantation owned by a close friend of the family. He was an architect, and was educated in Louisiana. Unfortunately I drank from a well on the plantation and contracted Montezuma's revenge, the real variety of which is entirely amoebic in nature, is not contagious and has nothing to do with food.

The ruins of old stone churches and haciendas in Antigua have provided a lifetime of ponderance. One of the world's highest lakes is also in Guatemala, Lake Tenochtítlan. The air up there was spectacular.

I was too young to go where I really wanted to, apparently. I did not muster the voice to clamor for a visit to that house. I didn't stop hating myself over that for a long time. Later I found out there was no place of ill repute, and that the whole concept had been dangled in front of me just to make old people laugh. So very funny. *__*

We were unable to go into the northern jungle. The jungles of Central and South America can be dangerous in more ways than one. I got great historical photographs of the Mayan pyramids in those jungles as a consolation prize. The area surrounding them looks nothing at all like it did before clearing and restoration of the sites started. People can go see them now.

The antique dealers and book sellers in Ciudad Antigua have mind boggling deals. That city also serves as a trade center for the gorgeous textiles of the highland Indians. My host for the trip, the architect Vides, designed one of the five star hotels there. The accomodations are out of this world.


I was studying the Montessori Method and Jungian educational theory last night. The elevator became sort of frightening on the way down from the third floor stacks at the Middleton Library at Louisiana State University. We on the elevator disembarked with great haste as soon as the doors opened. ('011)

A True Story

My grandmother said I killed my father. Such a thing was not possible. Somewhere someone took her very seriously. It nearly killed me when he died. I wanted nothing of his. I wanted no material possessions. I did not want his real estate property. I wanted none of it. I threw all of it away that I could. I'm still trying to throw the real estate out the window. I would have killed many men to keep him alive. My entire life is open. Take what you want away from this with you. No one has permission to disturb what is sacred between a father and a son.

Fringe Performances

1. Go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting with a whiskey pint bottle half filled with watered down coke, so that it looks like whiskey. Try to hide swigs from it as people start talking. Begin talking when you feel up to it. Work in things like this: "I really think I could have a chance in this program if I could just make it through the first few minutes (swig). Hey! Why isn't there any coffee? Isn't there supposed to be coffee at these things? I'm going to need that if I'm going to stay awake through an hour of this."

[This from somebody who checked himself into a detox center, while absolutely clean and sober, because it was too expensive to run air conditioning during one of the worst heat waves in Louisiana history. They had not only air conditioning, but free food too. That individual left -- the temptation to make up bigger and better stories was just too great (not to mention the temptation posed by a certain young lady also there.)]

2. Wondering if anyone has ever seen a live performance from a "techno" band. Do people realize that the musicians play drums and instruments to the extreme for some of those recordings? Just because it sounds perfect doesn't mean it wasn't created live. It is the heighth of arrogance to assume that computer assisted production of finalized musical copy makes it any less real. In fact, many people might be surprised by how many "bands" using instruments were created by ONE person only.

3. Go to criminal court once or twice a week for a couple of weeks (or every day, if you aren't scared of dying of boredom -- it's a great way to learn decorum and statutory procedures). On the third week fall down when the bailiff says all rise. Be sure to have a shirt with pockets on, filled with marbles. Make sure all the marbles come out on the floor. Pick them up clumsily for the first few minutes of court. If you feel really ballsy do something similar the next week.

4. Go to an art opening. Find a piece of random, harmless, abstract art. Begin protesting the vulgarity of it loudly. Make sure to have a cell phone. Call actual people who might be offended by vulgarity at an art show (Christian organizations, right wing bastions of society). Make a real stink. The artist will hate you for it at the time, but love you later.

5. Take a little baggie of small round green seeds out into a very public place. Try to look as sneaky as possible while planting the seeds in open landscapes. Look over your shoulder. Hide in the bushes as you take the baggie in and out of your pocket. Run if you see law enforcement, or just to make sure some get called.

6. While at the doctor for an injury, after receiving a prescription begin talking loudly about how opiates help your sex life. Mention how they give you unbelievable staying power. Try to engage a nurse in the dialog if at all possible. Try not to do it if you are using your real name, or close to home. You may never get anything again.

7. unrelated - News carried a long story about the gang "The 18" in El Salvador. They called it the largest gang in the world. What about the Sandinistas? La Familia has nothing to do with any criminal organization. It's self defense when men who have committed crimes of consent tell authorities that. I will not give voice to the organization's name. I have values. News: Very frequently untrue in the places I frequent. No lawsuit can be filed against an organization for spreading name unspecific rumors, and there is no way to hold the owners of news organizations accountable. They are quite above the law. I've done my best to separate fact from fiction here, but it is very difficult when every source may be corrupt and often is.

They're right you know.
"And that's what really hurts.
You do it to yourself, just you,
You and nobody else."

Roll Call of the Lesser Devils: 133-136


Today I take a vow of silence
The quiet starts a chain of events
The prisoner walks free
Markings burned into arms, face, back
escapes the worst fear
the human race has ever always known
takes me silent takes me aback
the falling sheets, the last Rosicrucian’s towel
folded, irons on stretched out
gravity calls
and so you wonder what that means
consider if you will it
thrill welling up from deep down
foul mention decayed dominance
yet so easily submit, persuaded
having a phenomenal time, agitated
experience with internal workings
know know bounds
devices, all animals,
quivering sounds,
incorrigible exhibitionists that we are
sensational, climactic, grinds together
while you watch your rather lengthy
summoned false feelings grow so bored
slink away into dark corners embarrassed
by the moans and exhortations unto god
your brain takes you away to see incredible
frightening things, imaginary things
with legs and arms all breasts
no break into a sea of flesh
and when you come back
you find you
are the small caged rats just
animals with wheels and tiny black eyes
and people who judge think quality, heavy sighs
have decided you do not pass
inspection was exciting at least at last
a simple test, a pleasure cry
you were so busy being happy
have it hold it
the religious experience
shape it mold it
and so now you can not leave
and the towel?
the horror of knowing what you have seen
the things that crawled
the things that flew
may have been nothing
but it may have been true
a chemical imbalance
or so you are taught to believe
my goal is the perfect disrobing
when I reach that goal
I will have arrived inside
the great hereafter
as horrible as it may be,
somewhere in it there is perfection
such is the law of infinity
out there
the only blot on my soul that still remains is my body
I will always
Write in the service of the great law

it is hard to tell the time
when your only watch has crumbled
into many pieces of the sky
Byron bade me quench my thirst
then laughed at my awful plight
thirst undying
yet I just an ant in the continuum
with no power to drown myself
thirst for the first wellspring
of knowledge, unholy
and of the body
But for the three rings of Jesus
Our heavenly host
Surely would I have perished.
While I drifted
I spoke with Zarathustra’s society
They showed me how wrong
but oh how strong
blind before
it was all so that I could see
many secrets wait hidden
never break the rhythm
even when man has left you broken
and in a cage
the high spirits bade me this

and so begins the next world
in the beginning there was a thought
and it was desperation
-desperate for the end
-desperate for the unkown
the worst thing that could happen
was a science
was a sign
after the moment left
I felt something back behind me
the nightmare was unclean
it wasn’t even mine
don’t go off and leave
I sense something back
behind me
I once knew a person
his name was unimportant
though it was sanctuary
all that is gone now
swallowed up by fear
what more could you want
than to gaze down from the mountains?
if only to escape this dark tunnel
trapped here for so long
alone and unarmed
with only a dim fire
the nightmare was science
like a pathway through the mind
many thought it led out
but they have perished
frozen in this nuclear winter
eyes piercing behind me
my hair stands on end
somewhere my hands play a guitar
slide down the bars
but why I have long since forgotten
all I can do
is wait for the sun to wake me
(unless this isn’t a dream
the sun will come)

I no longer need the wind to blow
no longer a home at night
I have gone to search for the rumored
subterranean ocean
where the old ones dwell
I need to see
and when I find them
I will beg them
“Please take not my sorrow
And take not my mind.”
That ocean blooms like a flower
In myriad shimmering thoughts and words
Like oxygen fluttering
Up to the abyssal floor.
Even the young man
who taught the world to love
such wicked evil
Though under the earth
We all know it will not be found.

I will never be ashamed
Of my unabashed fondness
For Howard Phillip.

To Nijme

Azure air conditioner streamers
Humming fluorescent light
In the art studio by design;
Left with only thoughts of geography
And that pretty smile.
Dry outside, night air,
Filled with rhythmic locust buzz.
Every sight of the building
Brings it back;
Year lost in thought.
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Related written works at Angelfire, Sex Symbols, Cymbals of Silence.Repent or Die