Symbols

Ruins Gone

There are neighborhoods in Baton rouge where no landmarks from the decades before the civil rights movement can be found at all. Less than a mile from where I grew up in the downtown area there was once a federal housing project. Today there is absolutely nothing to be found of it. A lot of people think getting rid of the old falling down houses and bulldozing the vacant lots make the place look better, but there's a lot of history that becomes invisible forever in the process.

Somehow a huge hole burned in the side of my father's house during the three years I spent avoiding Baton Rouge like the plague. The house next door, which had become mine when I married long ago, now has flooring and plumbing problems. In all cases of the old houses I have been in so often in South Louisiana there is a long list of problems that need to be addressed, and never any money to apply to the tasks. Of course all that has to come after getting electricity hooked up [yeah, it's that messed up...].

The keyboard here in the State Library sounds like a drum set. The disruption it causes in the cool air makes me want to find a pile of sand and bury my head in it. And after all these years nobody has ever said, "Could you stop writing so loud on that computer?" I have often wondered when the axe will fall.

Earlier this week I attempted to revive a skater and biker tradition by beginning Baton Rouge Hell Tours again. The practice always involved going in the most bombed out abandoned areas to skate and bike late at night. Those areas have been pushed far away from the downtown area, probably to keep real life hidden from any tourists that should be enticed into wandering through the renovated areas.

I was almost to Ghost Town when a young man took offense at my presence. That usually didn't happen in the old days. It made my hair stand on end for a minute. Two blocks away the bike's flat tire went flat. The young man thought that was funny. I did too, later.

A lot of things have changed. The town isn't pretending to care about constitutional rights anymore, as near as I can tell from the turret cameras pointed indiscriminately at anyone and everyone who walk by certain points. I will provide pictures of those as soon as I get a digital camera to take a few shots of them. Apparently we have a big jump on the police state here in Baton Rouge. Our mayor wanted predator drones to fly over head at all times so that the area would know anything and everything that the citizens do. How very genteel of him. We'll have this free will thing licked in no time.

It drops to a comfortable 85 at night, with only 95% humidity. That's great sleeping weather after it keeps you up for a week and the fever dreams finally leave you drained in a puddle of sweat on the floor. Luckily the sirens at night never stop for long enough to make it possible for anyone to oversleep. The friendly emergency services crews are ready to provide inadvertent wake-up service to anyone sleeping with windows open and nothing to stifle the noise.

Last year in East Feliciana Parish, Louisiana, this very weekend, some atrocities took place. At least four guys got beat up very badly. There was rape and sodomy involved, in a facility controlled by law enforcement after Hurricane Gustav. In Clinton, Louisiana doing those things to prisoners became okay that weekend.

What happened to justice? What happened to the place where I grew up? What happened to my state, this country? I just don't know anymore. It's like even the ruins are being hidden, so all we can see is a big, fake smiley face.

Normal people (whatever that means): If you read this have a nice weekend. Sadists: Get bent. Death's not waiting for you.

Cringe Fer-Foremen's-Isms

Office worker wants to be friends with everyone. Catches other employees whene they leave their offices or cubicles for the express purpose of starting up conversations with them. Inquires about after work get-togethers. When given reasons (excuses) why such engagements won't work, does not take hint and attempts to reschedule the get-together to fit the coworker's life itinerary. Gets genuinely hurt feelings if told the other employee just doesn't want to mingle. Files petty complaints about such workers. Has been with the company over a decade, never gets dismissed by upper management over the antics.

Carpenter cops an attitude about wearing safety goggles and following safety guidelines, because OSHA never meant anything "in the old days." Goes to the portable facilities regularly, for extended periods of time. Talks very quickly and excitedly after bathroom visits. Misses the backing studs with the nail gun repeatedly, resulting in 6 nails per juncture. Gets taken off normal carpentry duty to cut rafters. Cuts thumb off when the skilsaw kicks back on a curve. Sues the builder.

Employee shows up for first day. Work history paints the individual a skilled cook. Worker always cuts toward himself. Pulls off hair net and combs long hair constantly, over the salads. Professes proficiency with commercial fryers, opens valve to change oil without a catch basin, while the oil is 375°. Knocks over a waiter carrying $175 worth of entrees for the mayor and his family. Gets a pay raise, over the objections of the head chef and everyone else in the kitchen, because blood is thicker than water. Good to have the right uncle, eh?

Librarian who hates the job. Does not care about getting fired, so is constantly sarcastic, rude, and sometimes even nasty, to patrons. Puts folded up Playboy/Playgirl centerfolds in YA books favored by teenagers, to upset parents. Finds reasons to make lots of noise while the place is very quiet. Passes gas in elevator on purpose while it's crowded. Returns books to wrong places in shelves. The big boss thinks the employee is a laugh riot and takes the negativity as humorous, dismisses complaints about job performance. Being unable to get fired makes the individual even more unbearable, and the shift supervisor lapses into apopleptic episodes, which eventually causes the nice, honorable supervisor to be rushed to the hospital, have a sagging face for life, talk funny, suffer ridicule by teenagers looking at dirty pictures, sound moronic for not being able to explain why no books can be found in their proper locations, and commit seppaku by attempting to read everything ever written by Jozef Ignacy Kraszewski while drinking seven gallons of Creme de Menthe and swallowing phenobarbitol by the handful for nine consecutive days, with only caffeine to offset the lethal combination.

Grin ear and the smith learn of loss.

Terms of Noise Killing

Innocents hear sounds when they die a death of spiritual warfare. The intent of the maker of the rules must be consistent with the rules of the game between men who risk everything for principles. Absolute truth and justice resides with the maker, and anyone who blew the whistle knowing foul intent in the original design judges the design flawed... The execution of such a maneuver must be stopped to a dead standstill until every conceivable avenue of knowledge concerning that individual has been heard for all peoples, or the maneuver can not be executed. That is a soul killing violation-- when innocents are killed without a hearing, their experience in hell must be unblemished or the design of the condemnation reflects the designer.

[Yep. Unblemished experience in hell. You can't ever die when you get there, or you have to start again. This sounds like something familiar, maybe some sort of tangle of pop-culture references. I wonder what the author of the note I picked up and digitalized was thinking. Maybe they were listening to Cream Fields Amnesia and watching an upside down television during the Rachel Maddow show, with Spanish subtitles on.]

Unscanned

Here's something from 1983 I wrote in red ink and signed with my own true handwriting, for some reason on Valentine's Day. It was just labeled with the date though. I must not have had a Valentine.

Some say he's the rival of Dustin, but I
say he's only Steve Martin,
Cause when I look at him left and I look
at him right, I know he's a wild and crazy guy.
Who else would say that horses don't neigh
and silk bikinis aren't a sin?
Some say he's the rival of Dustin, but I
say he's only Steve Martin.
cause when he puts on that Yugó accent, I
think he's heavenly scent, except for his
beady blue eyes.
Some say he's the rival of Dustin,
but I say he's only Steve Martin,
cause when I look at him left and I look at
him right, I know he's just a wild &
CRAZY guy!!!

Travels

Trips taken at different times do not correspond to any everyday school and work experiences. They need to be listed. West. Florida. Tennessee. Colorado Springs, Point Vincent, Chattawa, Biloxi, Gulf Shores, Orlando, Cape Canaveral, Kennedy Space Center, Disneyworld, Natchitoches, Caddo Parish, Vider, East Caroll, Transylvania (Louisiana), Sangre De Cristo Mountains, Santa Fe, Taos, Cimarron, [said beef tornadoes... lol spelled tournadoes], Aspen, Boulder, Denver, camped in lightning storm in Rocky Mountain State Park, Mogollon, Gila, Sonorra Mexico, Creel Station, little towns with shuttered windows and nothing worth looking at, slick tires coming over the highest pass in Colorado – treacherous became sunny and bright, snow storm over highest pass in New Mexico, Northwest Corner of the State – Devil's Den State Park, Arkansas, Newton County, Buffalo River, White River, Hot Springs, Chattanooga, Lookout Mountain, Smoky Mountains Tennessee [(Martin D-28)], Louisville graveyard to see grave of my great great grandfather (Maternal mother's father), Missouri – Johnson Shut Ins (could never jump), Elephant Rocks, towns on the Mississippi, Vicksburg, Port Hudson, Saint Louis, Chicago on a train, (slept through Memphis that time), Metropolitan Museum of Art (Dali sculptures show), Lake Superior, [very, very cold], rode to New Mexico on a train, got off in Santa Fe [some steep canyons on that line], great experience, gorgeous, Youth Hostel (smoked weed with old guy)(went to a nice restaurant)(dislocated knee at Brazilian Macamba dance and walked five or six miles on it to sleep at the hostel again) [ended dancing for a while so far] in Santa Fe, Asequia Madre, Canyon Road, the Plaza, took ride from Santa Fe to LA with New York girls (Trixie and a German girl)[they let me sway their trip too much... stayed in Hotel Weatherford, Venice Beach for a few hours, Alpine Texas, Alpine Colorado, El Paso, MacAllen, Juarez [3 blocks got lost, somehow got out with same ¼ ounce of weed I had going and coming], Carlsbad [they wouldn't let me go on the huge exploration route [with Sonny and Vicki and Sheila](wanted to so bad)], Roswell, White Sands (looked like two sand dunes from Destin to me), Destin, Fort Walton Beach, Pensacola, Mississippi Audubon Parkway, Poverty Point, Austin Texas, Amarillo, Kansas (eww), [Montana, Idaho,Utah, [dark until south of Phoenix] Oklahoma City, Little Rock] Little Rock, Hot Springs, Tulsa , Columbia Missouri, Knoxville Tennessee, Norwood, Centerville, Woodville, South Louisiana towns (but not all), Pueblo Colorado, Chiracahua Mountains, open mine Bisbee, Tombstone, Silver City, Tucumcari, Houston, Dallas, Columbia Texas, Langtry, Big Ben, Pedernales River, San Antonio, Tallulah, Lake Providence, Arkansas: Magnolia, Camden, Fordyce, Pine Bluff, Pascagoula, Hattiesburg, Brookhaven, Gulfport, Columbia, Picayune [Audbon's travels route], Southeast Mississippi archaeology route, Arkansas by wandering [?]. Very importantly: Tecalote, Las Vegas NM. And all routes that changed over time between towns and places linked to the journeys I have mentioned.

The heart of America guards its own identity as culture, places, and society dictate.

Conflict and Evolutionary Theory

Thesis: Conflict served as propagating factors for the development of civilization almost as much as hunger. Territoriality, especially as pertaining to sex between early men and women, drove men wild with the desire to excel, for defense, revenge and jealousy, and a whole host of other factors. These are emotions in their most primal state. Eat, frak, kill, win, celebrate [vulgar body things], repeat without kill unless it becomes necessary. [Frak is always win.]

Frak is new F word.

Spiritual Pandrogyny

There is a being created from the sexual union of two beloved people. Its existence can be terrifying. It's existence can be so holy it shines like a light. If there is a name people have chosen to call it, then surely love exists in the derivation of the idea. The name has not made itself available to me [starts with something...]. It may be a billion faceted awareness that spawns and dissolves anew with each creation and fulfillment. People have lost their sanity and their souls in pursuit of a way to force it into existence. The smallest simplest answer... if you know it, then truly you have been blessed.